Saturday, July 31, 2010

Living With An Addict

If you know me personally, you know that I am a private person. I avoid discussing medical issues, family business, or anything else of a confidential nature. Perhaps these are the habits of a nearly 28-year legal career, observing the attorney-client privilege.

But now, I cannot remain silent.

It is my hope that, by speaking out, I can help others who may be in the same situation. (Rick, you know who you are.)

I live with an addict. In fact, I'm married to her. Our 23rd wedding anniversary is August 21. All this time, she has never displayed anything close to an addictive personality. Sure, she went through occasional "phases" where certain things had to be locked up or kept out of the house, but nothing like this.

She now has a full-blown addiction.

She wakes up with it, goes to bed with it. It completely dominates her life. There is nothing for her except the next hit, the next thrill, and it is never enough.

She hasn't just involved herself -- she has hooked her friends, and our daughter's friends as well. There is an ever-widening circle all sharing the same, destructive habit, and it's tearing us apart!

Of course, I'm talking about Words with Friends on the iPhone.

All she does -- all day long -- is play WwF. I hear the telltale chimes at night, in the morning, and when I call from work during the day. I find slips of paper or pieces of cardboard all over the house, with point value calculations hastily scribbled on them, the jagged numbers painting a picture of a nervous, almost crazed individual in desperate search of a double word score.

I'm tired of answering questions like, "Is 'schlumpy' a word?" NO! IT'S NOT A WORD! IT NEVER WAS A WORD! IT WILL NEVER BE A WORD!

This December, I plan on getting an iPhone. My wife keeps telling me how I will become addicted to WwF, just like she is. I hope -- no, I pray -- that by then, Apple will have come up with an antidote. When I say I won't get addicted and that WwF holds no fascination for me, my wife just laughs -- a knowing, sinister laugh.

Now I know how Eve felt in the Garden of Eden when the serpent whispered in her ear.


  1. Yeah whatever Dan, what's Lynne's user name on WwF??

  2. Watch soon as your iPhone hits your hands, we will all be there to answer her "schlumpy" questions and help her kick your ass! (P.S. Tell Lynne it's her turn.)

    - Kelly

  3. I miss the days when WWF stood for World Wrestling Federation.

  4. All hail the Wiz! It is about time someone got up the nerve to address this growing addiction. Stay strong.

  5. iPhones are great!